Catching Curve Balls

I just spent more time than I care to admit seeking a photo of Logan with a ball to put in this post, and the one pictured above is the closest I could come (the ladybug ball is sitting beside the skinny minnie).

Bear with me in this post....I'm enroute to visit the sister in Boston, and am by myself on the flight, so I figured I would "talk" to my virtual friends. Plus, the news in this post is pretty big for our little, run-of-the-mill family.

I've spent the last few months (since this post) happily sharing that I would be applying for (and in my mind, getting) a part-time position with my company. In our world, this was the perfect balance. A few days a week of work to allow me to have adult interactions and contribute to the family finances, while providing more time home to cherish moments with Logan and perform dutiful wifely roles. However, as the date moved closer and closer to the actual application time, I had an unsettled feeling. At the time, I chocked this up to nerves about losing half of my income, and the nerves over the application process.

Little did I know that a curve ball was headed our way. On Wednesday of this past week, a colleague sent a text "check ur vm," which I naturally did, and as Blaine stepped out of the shower, prepping for another day of the grind, I placed the phone on speaker to allow him to hear the announcement....my company is "reducing headcount" (isn't that just a nice way to say firing lots of people :-) by nearly 30%. That is close to 2,000 jobs being eliminated. WHOA.

After lots and lots of discussion, questions, consideration and more prayers than I could say (like I don't think I have stopped praying since Wednesday morning), Blaine and I made a tough, but what I hope to be right, decision. I have officially requested to be considered for the voluntary severance package. In short, this means that in addition to many other factors, our corporate office - and the vendor handling this workforce reduction - will consider the fact I am willing to leave the company. On June 15, we will wait patiently by our phones for the call to determine where life will go. The company could tell me I still have my job...at which point, we will lead to even more decision making....or they will tell me that I have sold my last drug, with that day being my last official working day.

Here's a few highlights of how we came to this decision...

• Balancing full-time employment with hands on parenthood is hard. Lets face it. I have many friends that do this seemingly without challenge, but I know without a shadow of a doubt it is tough, no matter how it looks.
  
• The pressures, expectation and focus at work have increased and change significantly since I entered this industry.
  
• The presented opportunity seems to allow for me to explore different professional avenues. I miss using the marketing lobe in my brain that I spent years creating, and truly believe that my talents are better put to use in that arena.
  
• I'm seeking more meaning and praying to find my full professional potential while being a better wife and mom. One could probably argue that we are all seeking meaning in what we do, but I actually have a rare chance to find out what that means. Does this mean I won't have days (in whatever I am doing) that I feel like I'm working a JOB. Yes. But, hopefully the good days will outweigh the exhausting, overworked ones.
  

There are many risks here. The most obvious being that we are going to go broke. Just kidding. We didn't make a blind decision based upon faith alone. What we did do is let our faith in God allow us to make an intelligent decision. I'm not going to be sitting home, eating bon bons and waiting for the most meaningful job in the world show up on my doorstep. We all know life doesn't work like that. I will be actively pursuing many opportunities in the upcoming months, and will be sure to share as these ideas that swirl in my head come to fruition. I'm so, so excited about the opportunity that may arrive on June 15.

And, at the end of this really long rant, I will say, the past 48 hours have reaffirmed my love for the man I married nearly five years ago (you know, the boy I fell in love with at 19). I have been so anxious and nervous that despite the fact that we had really decided to volunteer by Wednesday night, I was unable to officially make the phone call until Friday afternoon, mere hours before the deadline. However, the ever calm Blaine looked at me on Friday morning, and confidently shared that he wasn't at all nervous....he is confidant in this decision. And, as we toasted on Friday night, after I had officially done the deed, he shared that he isn't exaggerating. He really feels good about this, because he knows my talents and believes in all I can accomplish. Thank you, sweet husband, for believing in me and for supporting me above all. I promise to cautiously manage my spending habits this weekend in Boston!

PS - If you too want to feel like you need to seek more meaning in your life, read The Same Kind of Different as Me and watch The Blind Side. I did both within a matter of a week, and still can not help but continue to think about my greater purpose in this life. What kind of impact am I making on this world and how will I dedicate my time to making a positive one?